We all live our individual lives in the most unique ways as possible but being a part of a larger society we are all somehow connected and share some commonalities. There are ‘n’ number of differences amongst us on one side but there are another ‘n’ number of common features that we share with our group at large. What I intend to highlight here is the achievements we acquire throughout our life span along with the imbalances that we face across the time span. There is no one in the world who has been purely away from hardships and difficulties as this is an inseparable part of each and everybody’s life. Whatever event it may be, a reason to celebrate or a reason to mourn we all look for a companionship in other’s around us, a shoulder to rest upon and a soul who can empathize with us. But how many of us do actually have this privilege of having a good support system around us….barely few. Support system nowhere refers to the people or friends who follow us or whom we follow on the social media. Then what does support system actually mean….whom we can count in for this term??
Identifying Your Support System
Support system though has a simple definition but the components for it may vary from one person to the other. Some find peace when they are closer to their family, some others when they are closer to their friends, some with their pets and yet another small number of people find peace with themselves. But no matter how much peace you find with yourself you always realize and crave for a closer acquaintance to talk things out. And this is not something one should ever suppress, talking things out does solve a large number of problems for the people facing it.
Our support system basically, comprises of the people or other creatures who provide us with immense mental, emotional, and practical support in times of need or otherwise. The question that pops here in the mind now is how to make out about whom we can count in our support system. The answer to this question lies in some simple rules that help you better identify and form your support system.
- The ones to whom you can pour your heart out without the fear of them being judgemental about you or your situation.
- The ones who serve as a guiding light for you in events of crisis.
- The ones on whom you have faith will never betray you.
- The ones who help and care for you selflessly.
- The ones whom you always find behind you in times of need.
- The ones who make you feel comfortable and support you like a rock when you are completely broken and shattered.
- The ones with whom you share an endless bond of love and attachment.
Who Can Make Your Support System
1. Family Stands FIRST in the Place
The most important members of our support system are the ones with whom we are born and raised. It comprises of people whom we don’t choose by choice but are chosen and given to us by the supreme power who has the authority and the knowledge to take the best decisions for us. Our family serve as the biggest and the most reliable support system we are born with. It’s through the bond that we share with our parents we are able to trust the people we meet later in our lifetime. Our parents, spouse, siblings, and the close members of our extended families are the ones who are the major components of our support system. We at times don’t realize their intensity of love for us unless we fall in a crisis and the moment we do, we achieve a feeling of great belongingness in our lives. This feeling of belongingness is needed to survive the toughest phases of our lives with great ease and comfort.
The parent-child interactions we experience as a child are the ones that leave a huge impact in our life and more or less shape our personalities in the longer run. The same goes with partner and sibling interactions as they the are ones with whom we share our most precious things and desires. They at times act as facilitators in helping us achieve our innate desires and passions without fail. And remember this is a process where we are both givers and takers of the same thing. So what you reap is what you sow with them.
2. Friendships: The Ties Beyond Family
This ever evolving group comprises of people with whom we start as our childhood playmates, classroom fellows, college buddies, chemistry lab partners, party companions etc. And from here we take them to the level next where they become our lifelines, our partner in mischiefs, our life-savers, and what not. This is one group we deliberately choose by ourselves as per our own wishes, likes and dislikes. It is with our friends that we grow and evolve, share the most beautiful bond of love and care. Friendship is something which has phases in each and every person’s life. We start off with casual friendships with them which grow to become the most intimate relationships in our teenage years. This further grow and become a closed group of people whom you can always count on and they can expect the same from you. This mutual relationship has many people in its journey, some come and go, some stay forever and some knowingly and unknowingly leave their footsteps in our lives forever without them being physically present.
3. Support System with no Language of their own : Our Pets
Everyone in the world need not to have the same kind of people in their support system to talk about their problems and sufferings. This can also well be achieved in the company of our pets and also at times our closest objects with which we can attain the same kind of feelings as we do with our parents and friends. Sometimes in life, it so happens that we just need someone to lend an ear to us without expecting anything in return. This happens usually when we create a heap of things and thoughts inside that just needs to vent out and can make us feel relieved and happy. And with no surprises we can always count our pets under this category who can empathize with us at all levels without the use of language. Sometimes feelings and emotions heal your wounds better than words and this is exactly what happens when you share a good bond with your pets.
Fighting Loneliness: A way to Liberate Yourself
Loneliness acts like a slow poison which if not dealt on time can lead to severe life threatening repercussions. This initially starts like a personality disposition but if the situational variables makes a person a victim of it time and again then the person finds himself in the clutches of this vicious cycle for a lifetime with no effective treatment. But this can always be addressed at any point in life and one can find ways to effectively deal with it:
- Build a positive support system around you.
- Establish rapport with people without any prior mental formulations about their actions and reactions.
- Develop adaptive social skills and fight all your negative cognitions about being in a social group.
- It’s always better to have atleast one close person than having none, so better strive for building atleast one such close relationship.
- Don’t predict the future in any relation or situation and also never generalize any negative experience in the past to your present relationships.
- Just try and talk things out….become expressive….expressiveness has great powers and works magically in developing healthy life-long relationships.
- Work on the principle of give and take.
Keeping these basic rules in mind one can easily conquer their fear of loneliness and share the joy of belongingness.